Things that will make you totally intolerable to your loved ones:

• Dieting
• Grad School
• All-consuming obsession with latest hobby, and inability to talk about anything else

Guilty on all three counts.

Somebody better start saving for bail money, because I’ve decided to do something stupid again.

I’ve previously made a point of the fact that I don’t really dig trial subscriptions.

Normally I don’t go for free things with elaborate opt-out procedures (like writing “cancel” on the bill [too lazy, too much room for forgetfulness]), but this magazine seemed possibly worth the trouble.

And then, of course, there was the whole Martha Stewart wants me to go to jail escapade.

Anyway, I’m back to my old tricks again. Because I’m fixated on food right now, I’m considering subscribing to a magazine with healthy recipes, but there are so many to choose from! I live too far from Borders or Barnes & Noble to preview these glossies in person, so I’m taking the plunge, again, and ordering a trial issue of the most intriguing magazines.

I couldn’t handle cancelling the Domino subscription in half a year, so I don’t know why I think I’ll be able to cancel FOUR, count ‘em, FOUR trial subscriptions. Stupidity and an unreasonable refusal to learn from past experience, I guess? Plus, Everyday Food is another Martha publication, so my potential for jailtime is startlingly likely! Finally, when you’re trying to be less obsessed with food, is it really that smart to surround yourself with food porn?

Anyway, I’m most interested in checking out Clean Eating, which seems to focus on eating fewer processed foods. I’ve eaten a lot of unpronounceable chemicals in my 28 years on planet earth, so the idea of getting down to basics– oats and blueberries! Squash and lentils!– is strangely appealing. Nevertheless, I want to give them all a fair try before I plunk down my 12-18 crisp George Washingtons.

I checked some Cooking Light issues out from the library, and while the recipes look good, they seem a bit too ambitious, or require too many ingredients. Plus, there’s a lot of filler content and advertisements, which is off-putting, when all you want to do is drool over some luscious cheesecake centerfolds.

In other news, we currently are in the possession of MEGA GRAPES!

These giant red juicies are bigger than a quarter, despite my poor attempt at a size comparison. They’re not as flavorful as the little guys, but they have a strong novelty factor, especially if you’re into miniature and giant versions of regular things.

Since yesterday was Halloween and all, it seemed only right to have a pumpkin dessert to celebrate. What screams Halloween more than PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE?

I’m still trying to eat well, though, and cheesecake isn’t typically viewed as a health food. Behold, the wonders of the internet! I’d like to eventually wean myself off artificial sweeteners, but the stats on this nearly fat-free, low calorie cheesecake at SparkRecipes were too appealing to resist. I also got it in my head that I should make a ginger snap crust, so I based mine off of the vanilla wafer crust from Cooking Light.

I got out from work, scurried to the grocery store to buy cream cheese and ginger snaps, ran for an hour, walked the dog for 45 minutes, and then pretty much collapsed. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry on Friday nights, which tend to be pass-out-at-8-p.m. nights.

Nevertheless, I got crackin’ on it this morning. My Halloween Pumpkin Cheesecake has become an All Saints’ Day Pumpkin Cheesecake, I guess!

Belated Halloween/All Saints’ Day Pumpkin Cheesecake
with Ginger Snap Crust

Ginger Snap Crust
200 grams of ginger snaps (about half of a 14 oz box)
2 Tbsp. melted butter/margarine-type thing (I used Brummel & Brown)
Cooking spray

Spray a 9″ pan (I used a 9.5″ springform pan). Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Dump the ginger snaps in a big Ziploc freezer bag and smoosh them with a rolling pin until your arms ache, or the cookies are smashed into a nice, gritty, sand-like texture. Dump your ginger snap sand in a bowl and mix it with the melted butter until it’s well mixed and clumpy (I was going to use 1 Tbsp. of butter but freaked out when it seemed too dry. I don’t have much crust experience, so you may be able to get by with just 1 Tbsp). It will seem too dry, but it’s probably okay. Press the mixture in the pan with your fingers until it seems to be smooshed together and evenly distributed. Bake for 10 minutes, cool on a wire rack, and lower the oven temperature to 375 degrees Fahrenheit for the cheesecake.

Belated Halloween/All Saints’ Day Pumpkin Cheesecake
24 oz of fat-free cream cheese (3 8-oz packages)
1 cup of Splenda
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup canned pumpkin (pure pumpkin, not pumpkin pie)
4 egg whites
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground allspice
1/4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice if you’re crazy like me and can’t get enough of the stuff

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Mix cream cheese, Splenda, and vanilla extract until smooth. Add pumpkin, egg whites, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and pumpkin pie spice, and mix until smooth and creamy! Pour into your delicious crust (or into a greased 9″ pan if you’re too cool for crust). Bake until the top darkens a bit, or until, as Cooking Light says, “when the center barely moves when the pan is touched.” I baked mine for 65 minutes. Remove the cheesecake, gently run a knife around the edge to loosen it from the pan, and cool. Pop it in the fridge until it’s chilled! Garnish with crushed ginger snaps, if you like!

The Stats (based on the brands I used):
1/8 of the Crust: 119 calories, 4.5 g fat, 1 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 130 mg sodium, 19 g carbohydrates, 1 g fiber, 8 g sugar, 2 g protein.
1/8 of the Cheesecake: 97 calories, 0.1 g fat!, 0.1 g saturated fat, 15 mg cholesterol, 539 mg sodium, 9 g carbohydrates, 1 g fiber, 4 g sugar, 17 g protein, 125% Vitamin A!, 46% Calcium.
1/8 of the Whole Shebang: 216 calories, 4.6 g fat, 1.1 g saturated fat, 15 mg cholesterol, 669 mg sodium, 28 g carbohydrates, 2 g fiber, 12 g sugar, 19 g protein.