Kiki: Does it make me a bad person that I have about a 3% interest in the Olympics?
Alan: No.
Kiki: Well, that’s not true, I have more of a 6% interest. There are a couple of events I like to watch, like figure skating and rhythmic dancing.
Alan: You are the most stereotypical girl ever.
Kiki: What?!
Alan: Generally speaking, you’re not very stereotypical. But in this case, you are the most stereotypical girl ever.
Kiki: Whatever. What events do you like?
Alan: I like the weird ones, personally.
Kiki: Like curling?
Alan: No, like the biathalon. Skiing and shooting.
Kiki: WHAT?!
Alan: Yeah, they ski around and then they stop and shoot rifles for awhile.
Kiki: You’re making this up.
Alan: No, it really exists.
Kiki: It makes no sense. Biathalon means like running and swimming. -athalon means there has to be running.
Alan: Wikipedia: “… biathlon usually refers specifically to the winter sport that combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting.”
Kiki: ?!
Alan: What about the pentathalon? “The events are epee fencing, pistol shooting, 200 m freestyle swimming, a show jumping course on horseback, and a 3 km cross-country run.”
Kiki: What?! So it’s basically the James Bond event?
Alan: Yeah, basically.

The Internet is truly a wondrous place, for where else can one find such a fine selection of t-shirts featuring kittens with laser beam eyes?

Well done, Threadless and DesignByHumans.

Samsung SCH-411,
boy, did we sure have some fun.
First phone ever in my hand,
largest charger in the land.

Next came Audiovox CMD-9155 GPX-
smooth and shiny, I know you’d never vex!
You felt so solid in my grip,
or pocketed against my hip.

LG VX6000- whoa, a camera phone!
Photography I could hone,
of puppies chewing on a bone.
You, I’d never loan!

Followed by a VX8300 by LG…
Bedecked with speakers, I see!
Music player? Could care less.
Still, I’ll always like you best.

Friends, I’d like you to meet
Mr. Blackberry, who seems pretty neat.
An 8330, they call him the Curve,
and with his GPS, you’ll never swerve.

He’s got internet and email, too,
which sounds to me like quite the coup.
An iPhone, perhaps he’s not,
but who wants Apple when I’ve got
a Blackberry who’s very fine
and will let me call him mine?