I think I’ve discovered my future dog! Meet the French Bulldog!

Normally I like Big Dogs, but there’s something very charming about these little guys.

The problem is, I’ve always wanted a Great Dane. Fortunately, they come in the same colors. I could have matching dogs:

Matching dogs need paired names. Filet and Mignon, maybe? All I do know is what I’d name this dog:

Get ready, everybody! The most anxiously-anticipated sporting event of the year is finally upon us!!!

The excitement! The drama! The BOWL CAM! It’s ON! 3 PM! Animal Planet!

Somehow or other I stumbled upon a most excellent site offering free, cleaned-up scans of vintage images. There are old advertisements, illustrations, calligraphy… Best of all, there’s a fabulous selection of vintage labels! Graphics Fairy gets your crafty gears turning!

What I should be doing:

• Unpacking my suitcase
• Cleaning
• Exercising

What I’m doing instead:

• Lounging in my pajamas under fleece sheets
• Drinking Coke Zero
• Boldly going where no Internaut has gone before

Here at la Maison de la Kiki, we like to eat eyeballs.

Delicious, delicious eyeballs.

We even have a special eyeball bowl specially designed for eyeballs, so much is our love for eyeballs.

If you like eyeballs as much as we do, you can buy them by the bagful at fine retailers near you!

In other news, it was brought to my attention, by my keenly observant mother, that a grasshopper and I were wearing the same outfit.

I’m officially throwing in the towel. I hate to give up too early, because my surrender means I’ve resigned myself to at least 5 months of chilly despair. However, I just can’t take it any more. I’m busting out the electric blanket.

The good news is, I looooooooove my electric blanket. Love love love love love it. I love it so much I want to marry it. It’s the absolute only consolation in these bitter winter months. I jump in my ‘jammies, crank the blanket up to HI, and settle in for roasty, toasty coziness.

I bake like a hot potato for awhile, until I feel the hypothermia wear off, and then I lower it down to the pretty-toasty-but-not-quite-roasty level of 13. In fact, as much as I love it when spring comes, I feel 2% disappointed that I have to pack that lovely blanket away. And then I remember that it’s FUCKING SPRING and I’m ecstatic and I shed that motherfucker like my tortie cat sheds dandruff.

Oops. Seasonal Tourette’s.

Today I’m going to share one of my secret recipes! I perfected the recipe last July, and I daresay I’ve made it many times since. The process is simple, and you probably already have all of the ingredients on hand!

Ingredients

• 1 jar of peanut butter, any variety (I’ve tried it with everything from organic peanut butter to humble Jif, and it turns out perfectly every time)
• 1 spoon, any size

1. Unscrew the lid of your peanut butter.
2. Grip your spoon securely. You don’t want to hold it so tightly that your hand cramps up, but you’ll want to make sure you won’t drop it.
3. Carefully scoop the peanut butter onto the spoon.

4. Gently raise the spoon out of the jar, making sure the peanut butter doesn’t slide off.
5. Enjoy straight off the spoon!

Easy and delicious, with no cooking required! You don’t have to fuss with the stove, the oven, or even the microwave. It takes almost no time to whip up a whole batch of these for company! The recipe is also very adaptable. I’ve even made these lollypops using Nutella and frosting!

Honestly, the hardest part is eating just one. Handy tip: since I share this peanut butter with other people, I use a clean spoon each time. However, if you live alone, feel free to double, triple, or quadruple dip!

For more delicious recipes, you may want to try my show-stopping Toll House Cookie Stick or my famous Potato Chip Sandwich!

Where we last left off, our estate sale sweater was getting interrogated by the washing machine. This is the aftermath:

Shrinkydink!

Before:

After:

I’ll keep you informed of the thrilling updates in this rags-to-riches/sow’s-ear-to-silk-purse/wool-sweater-to-felt-bag saga!